Chapter 11: Pillow talk

The Joker was laid on his back with a large smile on his face. His upper torso was uncovered flashing his pale toned chest. His left arm was wrapped around Harley while his other arm was leaned behind his head in a V shape.

Harley was leaned against The Joker's chest laying there quietly enjoying the moment. Her lovely blonde hair tumbled over her shoulders like golden rain. The sheet covered her lower torso while her chest was uncovered but she didn't care.

Bud and Lou were in the corner sleeping peacefully. They had gotten used to their masters having sex while they were in the room and had learned to sleep through it.

"I liked that Puddin it was much wilder than usual" Harley giggled ticking his chest with her slender fingers.

"Same here Harls I never expected you to enjoy candles so much" Joker chuckled as he remembered dripping wax on her.

Harley giggled "What can I say I have some kinky tastes".

"You bad girl" Joker teased tickling her chin.

Harley kissed his cheek lovingly she loved these moments the best. When he wasn't working on a scheme The Joker put more effort into being romantic after sex. She got up slowly allowing the sheet to fall and flash her slender figure.

Joker raised his eyebrow crossly "Where are you running off to?" he said suspiciously.

"I was gonna make some coffee" Harley said quietly.

The Joker sat up and pulled her close to him taking her by surprise "You can do that later I wanna enjoy your body some more" he teased nibbling her ear.

Harley shivered with pleasure "B...But Puddin don't you wanna relax I mean I know this takes a lot outta ya" She said nervously.

The Joker pouted crossly "I get bored without you and besides your good conversation...sometimes" he muttered.

Harley blinked and stared at him in shock. She then smiled "You'd miss me would you" She chuckled.

"I didn't say that" Joker snapped firmly.

Harley leapt at him taking him by surprise so she landed on top of him and sending the sheets flying by mistake.

Joker lay on his back taken aback as Harley lay across him while lying atop him. She had her arms around his neck and was smiling lovingly while hugging him.

Joker would usually complain that she was being too clingy but he was enjoying the feeling if her soft skin and voluptuous breasts on his own body. He slowly wrapped his arms around her back wanting to be closer to her.

Harley nuzzled her cheek against his own lovingly "I love you Puddin" she sighed happily.

Joker went quiet and he peered at her with his black eyes. She was a sweet girl with a heart bigger than most. Most women called him a freak and a monster but Harley accepted his darkness and loved him more than anyone else.

Slowly he cupped the back of her head with his hand and wrapped his other arm around her back. He buried his nose in her blonde locks enjoying the scent of her hair. Why was it she always smelled so sweet even when she was all sweaty.

Suddenly Bud and Lou woke up and padded towards the bed. They whimpered at them and rested their heads on the side of the bed.

"Sorry boys your mummy is having fun with daddy right now" Joker said firmly but in a playful tone. He shooed them away to which they padded away out of the bedroom and downstairs.

"Mistah-J" Harley said gently gazing into his eyes.

"Yes pooh?" Joker said stroking her hair.

Harley slammed her lips onto his and pulled him into a passionate kiss.

The Joker was taken by surprise at first but eventually returned her kiss and rolled onto his side so they were facing one another.

Harley eventually pulled away smiling deviously "Gotcha".

The Joker smirked "You little minx" he chuckled.

"You love it" Harley teased.

"You know it baby-girl" Joker chuckled running his fingers across her stomach.

"Stop...geez...ah..no stop it...*giggle* I'm ticklish" Harley squealed.

"Make me" Joker said smirking and began tickling her furiously.

Harley squealed as he tickled her stomach and even blew a raspberry on her stomach. He was such tease but she loved that about him. Joyful tears spilled down her cheeks as he teased her.

"That's it sweets squirm for daddy" Joker teased playfully.

"Geez quit it already" Harley giggled.

The Joker eventually stopped but gazed at her fondly as she laughed and caught her breath. He smiled lovingly at her "I love you...Harleen" he said cupping her soft cheeks.

Harley gazed up at him with her blue eyes and wrapped her arms around his chest "Me too...Jay" she said smiling at him lovingly.

The pair kissed passionately but lay there enjoying the moment. They loved each other and no matter who came between them they would always be together.

Chapter 10: Batman the peeping tom

"Mistah-J that feels nice" Harley sighed pleasantly.

"You really love my cock don't you Harls" Joker teased as he groped her chest

"I do Puddin ever so much! It's so hard and strong and throbbing" Harley sighed pleasantly.

Suddenly there was a crash from the ceiling to which glass shattered onto the floor followed by Robin and Batman.

"Joker you're under are...OH MY GOD!" Batman said crossly but then became more embarrassed and disgusted by the sigh in front of him.

Robin turned red and covered his eyes to hide the image before him before he got any weird ideas.

Joker was on his back with his pants pulled down. His expression was a cross between aroused, shocked and humoured. He currently had his hands on Harley's breasts but was looking straight at Batman.

Harley had her jester hat and make-up on but was wearing a red lingerie nightgown that reached her upper thigh. She was currently straddling The Joker with an aroused expression that was now becoming more embarrassed and pissed off.

"Well hello bats come to join the party?" Joker teased with a large grin.

Harley sighed heavily knowing this was going to lead to a conversation between the two. She removed herself from Joker's groin and got up and headed towards the bedroom mumbling angry words.

Joker seemed rather annoyed that Harley had left. He got up and zipped up his pants "Well Bats you better have a good reason for bursting in! I would about ready to cum inside Harley" He said crossly.

Batman coughed discretely to distract himself "There have been several attacks on labs recently and at each crime scene you left breadcrumbs that indicated your signature mark" he said not looking him in the eye.

"I see well I'd love to say it WAS me but unfortunately I've been too busy plotting my next scheme to try any of that" Joker said deviously folding his arms.

"I think you may have got Mistah-J mixed up with someone else" Harley said appearing in the room wearing a red silk dressing gown.

"How so?" Batman said firmly.

"Let me see the schematics from the crime scene" Harley said holding out her hand.

Batman sighed crossly but obeyed. Quinn may have been insane but she was no moron that was for sure.

Harley rubbed her chin thoughtfully as her eyes scanned over the evidence. Eventually she looked up and said "You got the wrong guy" she said firmly.

"What?" Batman and Robin said simultaneously in a shocked voice.

"Told ya" Joker mocked with a devious grin.

Harley nodded "Yeah these ingredients used in the gas aint what Mistah-J uses I know coz I've seen him work" she explained.

For once Joker was glad Harley was an ex-doctor. Her brain still held information from when she worked at Arkham.

"So who could have done it?" Batman asked suspiciously.

"I'd suggest Johnny or Red" Harley suggested smiling sweetly.

Batman sighed crossly "You mean Scarecrow or Poison Ivy".

"Who else would I be referring to? Geez Batman you aint half thick" Harley chuckled.

Batman said nothing but turned to leave to which Robin followed nervously.

"Come back soon" Joker teased waving goodbye.

"Well that was fun" Harley huffed crossly. She knew Joker would go off and work in his office now so she had better put some clothes on. She turned away and headed for the stairs she couldn't help but feel disappointed as she had been enjoying herself before Batman burst in.

"Where are you going?" Joker said sternly displeased by her sudden exit.

"Well I thought since Batsy just burst in you'd not be in the mood no more" Harley said innocently.

The Joker tried not to look insulted but it was true that he was the usual dominator in their sexual relationship. He sighed crossly "Harls just coz Batman burst in doesn't mean I don't wanna fuck you anymore".

"Sorry Mistah-J but you are hard to read sometimes" Harley said apologetically.

The Joker couldn't argue there. But he liked being unpredictable it was part of his character that made him who he was. He held out his arms wide and smiled "C'mere pooh" he said lovingly.

Harley hesitated for a moment then walked towards him and wrapped her arms around his neck. She felt his arms snake around her waist and tickling her ever so slightly.

"Daddy really wants to play with his Harley girl; don't you wanna play with daddy?" he said pouting a little to tease her.

"Of course I do but..." Harley cried but was silenced by his lips slamming against hers. She didn't fight she returned his kiss and ran her fingers through his green locks.

Joker eventually pulled away leaving her breathless much to his joy. He gazed at her cherub face adoringly enjoying her expression.

Harley was panting heavily trying to catch her breath. Her cheeks were flushed a little from lack of oxygen, Her eyes were glazed over and her expression was both aroused and desirous.

Joker picked her up bridal style holding her close to him "If you liked that then you'll love the surprise daddy has for you" he teased playfully.

"Y...Yes sir" Harley said quietly her cheeks still burning. She was clinging to his waist jacket tightly as if he was going to disappear in a puff of smoke.

Joker peered down at her quietly his expression thoughtful she may act like a whiny bitch quite a few times but underneath was a smart, sexy and beautiful girl whom he loved dearly.

Harley saw him peering at her and became curious "Something wrong Puddin?" she asked innocently.

Joker chuckled "Nothing at all Pooh just thinking" he said kissing her cheek. He would never tell her what he thought about her REALLY as that was his little secret.

Chapter 9 Sun, Sea and Clowns

"Thanks for doing this Puddin" Harley sighed happily.

"No problem Harls it was about time we got out of Gotham for a while anyway" The Joker said smirking.

The Joker and Harley were at the beach in the next town to Gotham. They had been thinking about this for a while but after Batman was hot on their tails The Joker had decided it was a good plan.

The Joker was wearing a pair of black Speedo's and a pair of black sunshades. He was on a deckchair with Bud and Lou beside him relaxing in the sun.

Harley was more of her natural self with her blonde locks out and NO clown make-up. She was wearing a Bikini which was 1/2 black, 1/2 red for the top and a pair of black bottoms. On top she was wearing a white thigh length beach robe which was open.

2 guys were ogling at Harley from a distance but didn't dare get closer due to the Hyena's sitting next to The Joker. It was hard not to when she was such an attractive woman with a great figure.

The Joker eventually caught them staring and frowned "Something I can help you losers with?" he said darkly. The two guys shook their heads nervously to which The Joker smirked "Good...Then PISS OFF!" he snapped angrily.

The 2 men fled before he could set the Hyena's on them. The Joker smirked that would teach them to check out his woman; Harley belonged to HIM and nobody else.

Harley turned on her side to face The Joker "Want some Iced coffee Puddin?" She said smiling.

"Sure Pooh" The Joker said smiling at her.

Harley handed him a can of iced coffee from the basket then got herself some juice sipping it happily. She loved having alone time with him more than anything else in the world.

"C'mere babies" Harley cooed pouring some water for Bud and Lou. The two Hyena's got up and lapped from their bowl to which she stroked their heads "Good boys".

A few people looked somewhat shocked and scared by Harley's loving attitude towards the Hyena's but she was used to it. They just weren't aware of how sweet they could be once tamed and raised properly.


Harley and Joker were walking along the surf with Bud and Lou.

Harley was clinging to The Joker's arm happily "It's so romantic Mistah-J I wish we could do this all the time" she said lovingly.

The Joker smiled "Me too Pooh but you know Batsy is my main priority" he said pinching her nose playfully.

"Babies go play" Harley said removing their leads "And play nice!" She called as they ran off into the sand.

"Any reason you let em go Pooh?" The Joker said curiously raising an eyebrow.

"I wanted you to myself" Harley said wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her chest against his.

The Joker grinned and wrapped his arms around her waist "Harley..." he said lovingly.

Harley gazed into his dark eyes batting her own blue ones lovingly. She loved this clown and nobody could tell her otherwise.

The Joker pull her closer to him admiring her big blue eyes, cherub face, rosy cheeks and golden blonde locks. He was a lucky guy and any guy would have a right to be jealous; he had it GOOD.

Harley leaned towards him and kissed him lovingly. She loved having these romantic moments with him as they made her life feel more special.

The Joker raised one arm and cupped the back of her head gently. He entered his tongue into her mouth which she accepted with ease.

After a few minutes they pulled away from one another and gazed into each other's eyes smiling.

"I love ya Puddin" Harley said smiling flashing her white teeth.

"I love you Harley" The Joker said tickling her chin making her laugh.

"Shall we return to the hotel for some rough sex?" The Joker said smirking deviously.

"Oh Mistah-J your so romantic!" Harley sighed happily.

想要个day off

Chapter 8 Valentine gift

Harley was sat in the bedroom reading a book and awaiting The Joker to return. She had sent Curl and Rocco out so she could have the evening alone with her beloved psychotic clown.

As if on cue she heard the car pull up in the garage and the door burst open "Harley Daddy's home" The Joker called loudly. Bud and Lou ran up to him and began licking him to which he pushed them down but petted them "Hello boys been good" he said smirking at them.

"I'll be down soon Puddin just go ahead and do your important work" Harley called from upstairs.

"Sure thing Pooh" The Joker called back. He was pleased that Harley was letting him do his work but at the same time disappointed that she hadn't given him a hug as per normal. He made his way to his office and closed the door but made sure Bud and Lou were tied up so he could have some peace and quiet.


Harley curled her hair into ringlets and applied a little hairspray to keep it in place. She then applied some eye shadow, mascara, blusher and red lipstick.

She pulled out a white toga dress from her wardrobe that she had bought especially for the occasion. It reached her upper thigh and was white with a V front and no sleeves; There was a peachy pink sash around her waist that reached her knees. On her feet were sandals and she applied a pair of wings to her costume to complete the look.

She also had a small sack to which contained some goodies of which were a can of whipped cream, a box of chocolate covered strawberries, and a bunch of purple roses. She had bought these especially so she and The Joker could have some fun together since it was a special holiday for lovers in particular.

She peered at herself quickly in the mirror and smiled "Go get him girl" she giggled to herself and skipped downstairs.

In office

The Joker was busy working over another scheme in which Batman would perish under the great wave of doom he would send his way along with his array of demonic goodies.

Suddenly there was a gentle knock at his door "What?!" he said irritably.

"Puddin it's me" Harley said timidly.

The Joker stopped what he was doing perhaps she had decided to finally give him his welcome home hug. Well he might as well get it over with he had picked something up for her on the way home.

"Come in" he said in a more friendly but stern tone.

Harley opened the door and walked in wearing her cherub attire batting her eyelashes fondly at him "Happy Valentine's day Puddin" she said sweetly.

The Joker was both happy and touched "Harley.." he said smiling.

She walked over to him and sat in front of him at his desk "I brought some presents for my beloved Mistah-J" she said her smile growing bigger.

The Joker pinched her cheek gently "Harley you did all this for me" he said smiling.

Harley nodded "Yeah..." she said gently but then looked worried "Sorry if I bothered you" she said apologetically.

The Joker smiled "Not at all better late than never" he said tickling her chin. He then noticed her small sack and raised his eyebrow "What you got there sweets?" he asked curiously.

"Just some presents to show my affection" she said blushing a little. She pulled out the purple roses first and placed them in a vase.

"Harley you got me roses? And their purple" He said feeling touched at the effort she had gone to.

"Yeah red genetically engineered some new ones so I took some" she said smiling at him lovingly.

For once The Joker was pleased that Ivy was a plant infatuated loon because she had created something that signified him in the smallest way; It almost made him want to laugh.

Harley then smirked "I also know how kinky you can get Puddin so I bought something delicious" she giggled. She took out the box of chocolate strawberries and the can of whipped cream to which a large grin appeared on his face.

"My, My Harley you've gone all out" The Joker said impressed by the effort she had put in.

"I wanted it to be special" she said crossing her legs seductively.

"Well then sweets shall we have some fun?" The Joker said deviously.

Harley squealed happily and leapt into his arms and kissed him lovingly. She ADORED him so much she just wished that every day could be as special.

a couple of minutes later

Harley grabbed the can of whipped cream and began covering The Joker penis with it "It looks so tasty" she giggled.

"Why don't you have a taste?" The Joker said smirking. The thought of Harley caressing his member was driving him insane.

Harley began licking the tip seductively then took it in her hand and began sucking the thing whole. It tasted so creamy and delicious and was her favourite thing in the whole world.

"Jesus Harley...Damn you have such a good mouth...FUCK!" The Joker moaned lustfully as she caressed his penis with her soft mouth and tongue.

"Mmm...ick...tafes...oh...ood" Harley moaned as she sucked him off.

The Joker grabbed her head and began thrusting his erect cock in and out of her mouth loving the warmth of her mouth.

Eventually a familiar feeling began to spread throughout his body "Harley...I...I'm...I'm gonna cum!" He cried loudly.

Harley swallowed every drop of his semen and licked her lips afterwards "So thick and tasty" she said her blue eyes shining.

"You really have talent Harls" The Joker said impressed.

"Thanks Puddin" She said smiling at him seductively.

The Joker patted his lap "C'mere Harls" he said grinning at her.

Harley got to her feet and sat on his lap wrapping her arms around his neck "Yes Mistah-J?" She asked stroking his cheek.

The Joker picked up a strawberry and placed it in her mouth to which she chewed lovingly and even sucked on his fingers. The Joker smirked "Aren't we eager" he chuckled.

"I can't help it Puddin your so delicious" she said licking her lips.

"Greedy little minx" he chuckled and began caressing her breasts.

Harley moaned a little her body feeling pleasant and her nipples becoming hard. She loved his touch and how good he made her feel.

"So soft and sensitive you have great tits Harls" The Joker teased and flicked her nipple making her shudder.

Harley moaned loudly "T...Thanks Mistah-J" she panted.

The Joker pulled off her panties swiftly sliding them down her leg then began rubbing her clit. He smirked as she began to moan louder her breathing getting quicker.

"That...That feels good Puddin" Harley sighed.

"You want my cock Harley?" He teased nibbling her ear.

"Y...Yes" She moaned lustfully.

The Joker raised an eyebrow "Yes what?" he said firmly.

"Yes sir" she said tightening her grip around his neck a little.

"Good girl" he said praising her for her obedience. He loved it when she was so cute and obeyed it made things easier and more arousing.

a couple of minutes later

Harley was laid on her back upon The Joker's desk her face bright red. She couldn't help but feel slightly ashamed of what she was about to do but it felt SO good.

"C'mon Pooh open them up" the Joker ordered.

Harley opened her legs wide so her pussy was more viewable and the juices began to flow "I...Is that better Mistah-J?" she said shyly.

The Joker spread her pussy wide "Lots better Harley" he said smirking. "You take VERY good care of yourself Harley I'm impressed" he teased.

"W...Well I do it for you Puddin" She sighed as he stuck a finger into her pussy.

"So wet you really are a horny slut" he teased and licked his fingers enjoying the taste.

"I am...It's just coz you're so SEXY" she sighed gazing at him.

"Harley..." The Joker said touched and rather pleased. He rubbed his erect penis against her wet pussy and eventually rammed it inside her moaning a little as he did.

"Oh Mistah-J!" Harley cried loudly as he entered her.

"Damn Harley you're so tight!" He moaned loudly.

"Please give it to me Mistah-J I WANT it!" Harley moaned waving her hips up and down.

"Very well Pooh" The Joker teased and began thrusting in and out with ease slowly at first then growing in speed.

Harley moaned and gasped with delight as her beloved Joker pounded her pussy with everything he had. She loved it when he fucked her hard and fast it felt so much better than normal sex.

The Joker eventually picked her up and sat her in his lap and held her waist "Now you move on your own" he said firmly.

"Yes sir" She said obediently and began moving her waist up and down enjoying the feel of him inside her.

The Joker thrust his hips as she moved but made sure she was the one pleasing him and not the other way around. Even in their intimate moments HE was in charge.

"P...Puddin...I...I think I'm Cumming!" Harley moaned moving faster.

"Me too Harley I'm gonna cum inside" he grunted as she played with his balls affectionately.

The pair came together loud yells and screams filling the room as they climaxed.


Harley was sat on The Joker's lap leaning against his chest panting trying to catch her breath.

The Joker lit a cigarette and began stroking Harley's hair "That feel good sweets?" he said affectionately.

"Mmm hmm" she said fondly enjoying his touch.

"Oh yes that reminds me I got you a present" The Joker said taking a medium sized box out of his desk.

It was red with a black bow and had a tag on it that read "To my little Harlequin doll" to which Harley smiled.

"Just so you know who you belong to" The Joker said winking.

Harley opened it to find a black leather choker with silver spikes and a red diamond hanging from it. Tears welled up in her eyes "Puddin" she said touched.

The Joker placed it around her neck "Perfect" he said smiling.

"I love you Puddin" she said wiping her eyes.

"As do I my little Harlequin" The Joker said fondly.

Chapter 7 lovers talk

Harley sat on the bed sighing heavily. The Joker was busy working on another scheme to destroy Batman (again). She knew it was important to him but felt like she was being put second to his plans. She was wearing her Harlequin jester costume but had removed her hat, mask and make-up. Her hair was lose instead of being in the usual bunches due to them hurting her head.

She picked up Psycho her plushie clown toy and hugged him tightly. He stayed with her all the time and never abandoned her. The odd thing was he was like a mini Joker so she would always have a small part of him with her. After about 15 minutes she got up and made her way downstairs "I will go on a date with my Puddin even if I have to fight for it" she said firmly.

In office

The Joker was yet again plotting another scheme to which Gotham would fall into chaos and Batman would perish. He had been working for 3 days straight using Whiskey, Coffee and doughnuts to keep him going.

Suddenly there was a gentle knock on the door to which Harley appeared "M...Mistah-J" she said nervously but in a brave tone.

The Joker looked up and was surprised by her appearance but said nothing. She looked prettier than usual without her clown make-up. He sighed crossly "What is it Harls?" he said firmly.

Harley swallowed "Well the thing is...I was kinda hoping we...we could um...well..." she stammered nervously.

"Spit it out Harley I aint a mind reader" he said crossly. Though he had to admit it she was cute when she was frightened.

"Go on a date?" she said nervously closing her eyes and awaited a loud scolding on why she was an idiot and how he was busy.

The Joker did think about being angry but then he thought about and agreed to himself that he had been working way too hard. His relationship with Harley was still strong but they hardly did anything together and a day out might be nice and relaxing. The Joker smiled "Ok Harls".

Harley perked up smiling happily "You mean it Puddin" she said happily.

"Sure but where do you wanna go?" he sighed heavily expecting a restaurant meal or to go shopping.

"Um I kinda wanna go to the beach" she said quietly.

The Joker was surprised but pleased he hadn't been to the beach since he was a kid and it was enjoyable as long as there were no screeching kids or annoying teenagers "Sounds ok" he said casually.

"Thanks Puddin you won't regret it I PROMISE!" she said squealing happily and headed upstairs but then stopped at the door "Oh and Puddin no suit you gotta dress nice but you can still bring your gadgets" she said firmly.

"Harley this is the only suit I OWN let alone wear" He said crossly.

Harley tossed a box at him "I bought it just in case" she said smirking.

The Joker was impressed at her quick thinking and smirked "Clever".

Harley giggled "Your welcome" and ran upstairs.

The Joker waited till she was gone and opened the box. His eyes widened in shock "She bought this for ME?!" he said feeling touched. She had bought a black shirt, A white jacket the same length as his normal waist jacket and White trousers. Her fashion taste for men wasn't as bad as he expected "Nice ones Harls" he muttered.


Harley had removed her Harlequin suit and her mask and hat were sat on a chair. She was looking through her wardrobe for a nice outfit to wear. She had decided to keep her hair down on this occasion but at least style it.

She eventually chose a Blue dungaree crop top with buttons to fasten the straps and buttons down the front. She also chose a pair of pale pink mini shorts and a white jacket that ended at her lower thighs. On her feet she put on some black Mary-Jane shoes with a small heel. She then sorted out the hair simply by styling it into a regular ponytail as it matched the look perfectly.

She turned in front of the mirror "perfect" she said happily and then applied some red lipstick, a little blush and some grey eye shadow and made her way downstairs. She couldn't help but smile "Mistah-J is gonna love it" she said happily as he often told her how he liked her legs.

Meanwhile downstairs

The Joker had asked Curl and Rocco to babysit Bud and Lou as he wanted Harley all to himself without the Hyena's stealing her attention. He had brought some weapons in case they decided to get a little wild on their date.

"I'm ready Puddin" Harley called sweetly.

The Joker turned and was gobsmacked by her outfit. His eyes roamed her body and the outfit that she wore complimented her figure very well. He was only grateful that he would have her all to himself.

"You like it?" she said smiling at him and batting her eyelashes.

"Harley you look wonderful" the Joker said walking up to her and holding her close. She had applied some perfume that smelled like peaches and it was enticing.

"Shall we be off?" she cooed into his ear.

"Of course Pooh" The Joker said picking her up bridal style and carrying her to the car.

"Be good babies" Harley called to Bud and Lou who whimpered a little.


Harley and Joker were speeding along in the car towards the beach. The wind was blowing over their heads and through their hair.

Harley was gazing at the landscape and often at The Joker he looked so cool and sexy in his new outfit that it made her want to attack him right now.

The Joker changed gear and saw Harley smiling at him "Something wrong?" he asked suspiciously.

Harley shook her head "Sorry Puddin it's just you look so handsome in your new clothes" she said blushing a little.

The Joker smirked "I should hope so" he said deviously eyeing Harley up and down.

"I noticed you brought guns Puddin" she said smiling.

"Just in case we decide to get crazy" The Joker said smirking.

"Oh Puddin your so romantic" Harley sighed lovingly.

The Joker smiled at her admiring her pretty features. She wore the make-up so often he had forgotten what a beautiful and mature woman she was underneath. It made him realize why he had chosen her to begin with.

"I wonder how the babies are doing" Harley thought to herself.

At Funnibone factory

Curl and Rocco were eating Chinese take-put while the Hyena's were ravaging at their bones and steaks with great delight.

Suddenly Poison Ivy burst in through the front door "Is Harley here?" she asked looking hopeful.

"Sorry Miss Ivy she went out with the boss on a date" Rocco said apologetically.

Ivy frowned "Ok well tell her to call me later" she said crossly. She had wanted to invite Harley on another heist but that plan had gone up in smoke.

"That dame REALLY likes Miss Quinn" Curl said amazed.

"Yeah for some time she and Miss Quinn were partners in crime" Rocco said.

Ivy climbed into her car crossly "I can't believe she forgot our girls night AGAIN" she grumble crossly. It was all Joker's fault he most likely had persuaded her again and she had melted like butter to his demands.

At beach

Harley climbed out of the car and gazed at the beautiful landscape of the seaside. The golden sands the blue ocean and above all the boardwalk that couples would walk down.

"It's so wonderful thanks for doing this Mistah-J" she said happily.

"Anything for my Harley-girl" The Joker said locking the car but he smiled at her as he did so.

Harley was so happy to be able to spend a day alone with The Joker without any problems what so ever. She could have him all to herself and nobody not even batman could get in the way.

"So what does my little Harley want to do first" the Joker said taking her hand.

"I'd like to take a walk along the beachfront with some ice-cream" she said happily.

"Very well Pooh" The Joker said. He wasn't a fan of ice-cream but licking it off Harley would be fun.

"Thanks Puddin you're the best" she cooed and kissed his cheek.

They took a walk and eventually came across an ice cream vendor to which Harley ran up to it. The Joker sighed and followed knowing that NO wouldn't be an option in this situation but as long as she was happy and didn't whine.

"One Mint choc chip please" Harley said to the vendor with a big smile.

"That's 2 dollars please" the vendor said smiling. The Joker paid the guy and then walked off with Harley who was licking the ice cream happily.

As they walked along Harley put the ice-cream under The Jokers nose "Want a lick Puddin?" she asked kindly.

"No thanks Pooh I aint an ice-cream lover" he said gratefully and ruffled her hair.

"Ok" She said and kissed his cheek then continued eating her ice cream.

Despite hating any sort of outing normally; this was nice. Just Harley and him without the Hyena's whimpering or any Batman. He could relax and enjoy spending the day with his lover.

"We should do this more often Pooh it's much more tolerable" The Joker said taking her hand.

Harley smiled "Well I did kinda want some alone time with you" She said blushing.

"Harley" The Joker said touched. He kissed her lovingly cupping his hand around her head to which she wrapped her arms around his back.

They pulled away after a few minutes and gazed at one another lovingly. Most people would call them mad or Psycho's but they were a couple none the less. As they walked along 2 guys eyed up Harley and whistled at her their eyes filled with lust.

"Something I can help you with?!" The Joker snarled angrily glaring at them.

"Just that your honey would look better with me" The first guy said smirking.

The Joker pulled out is gun and shot him in the head and then blew out the smoke "I don't think so dipshit" he said crossly.

Harley sighed "You're so cool Mistah-J" she gushed hugging him tightly.

"You bet I am baby" he said kissing her cheek. NOBODY looked at his woman let alone tried to take her away. She was HIS and nobody else's.

The pair walked along hand in hand towards the boardwalk. This would be a date to remember for a LONG time.

Chapter 6

Harley was in the kitchen making pork curry and rice for dinner. She was making this especially since he was a fan of spicy foods. It was a little burned but still edible and she had tasted it to make sure everything was fine.

She turned off the stove and heated up some rice in the microwave then went downstairs to find The Joker. He had gone to the shooting range in the basement to work off his anger so she was nervous on how he would act.


The Joker was shooting at a paper picture of Batman and a stuffed dummy made to look like him. He had removed his waist jacket and lay in down in front of him as wearing it made it annoying when he used 2 hands.

"Um Puddin?" Harley said nervously as she peeked her head around the door.

"Hmm?" The Joker said not paying attention.

"Dinner is ready" Harley said meekly not wanting to piss him off.

"I'll be up soon" The Joker said refilling his gun with ammunition.

Harley pouted she had SO wanted to be alone with him for dinner but lately he was concentrating MORE on killing Batman than spending time with her. She stood there with her head bowed for a few seconds feeling unwanted.

The Joker looked over his shoulder and saw her still standing by the door

"You need something Harls?" The Joker said raising an eyebrow. Usually she would leave by now until he came upstairs.

"Puddin can I...Can I join in?" she said shyly her cheeks tinted red by a gentle blush. They hardly ever spent time together unless it was a special occasion or The Joker was in the mood.

The Joker stared at her blinking usually the only thing she was interested in was fooling around or annoying him while he was working "Sure..." he said raising an eyebrow with surprise.

Harley shyly walked over feeling a little bit better that he wasn't telling her to get lost or beat it like he usually did. She was wearing a plain white blouse and mini trousers that ended at her knees. Instead of the usual bunches she had a single braid and simple grey eye shadow and red cherry lip-gloss there was also a little bit of blush on her cheeks too.

Harley stood beside him and picked up a gun admiring its well made design. She never admitted it but seeing him use those weapons aroused her greatly. It made him look dangerous and badass things she liked in a man.

"You ready?" he said folding his arms and watching her intently as she handled the gun.

Harley spread her legs out wide and then lifted the gun so it was pointed in front of her at the target "Yep" she said with a look of concentration.

The Joker smirked Harley did look sexy with a gun and it made The Joker remember why he liked her so much. I mean sure she was an annoying cry-baby and a whiney brat at times but at times she could be dangerous, unexpected and smart too.

"Almost right pooh but you need to adjust your position" he said grinning widely.

"What do you mean?" she said curiously to which her heart almost leapt out of her throat when he stood behind her his body pressed closely to hers.

"First lean into the gun" he said taking hold of her shoulder and leaning them forward a little causing her shirt to strain under the weight of her busts.

"Y...yes sir" Harley stammered nervously enjoying his touch.

"Straighten your back" The Joker said placing one hand on her stomach and the other against her spine pushing her back a little.

Harley moaned pleasantly as he caressed her back she LOVED his touch so much especially when he teased her like this.

"Now remove the trigger" he said nibbling her ear.

Harley obeyed her whole body screaming with desire for him. It was amazing how excited she got just by being close to him she could feel herself getting hot and her crotch was getting slimy.

"Raise the gun to your line of sight" The Joker cooed helping her raise the gun towards the line of her eyesight.

"Now you fix the gun to your target you getting all this Pumpkin?" he said blowing in her ear to tease her.

"Mm hmm" Harley moaned nervously.

"Breath in" The Joker said raising his hand towards her chest.

Harley breathed in slowly preparing herself for the shot.

"And release the trigger" The Joker said deviously.

Harley released the trigger to which the bullet hit the target's head.

"Oh my god...I HIT it" Harley said in amazement.

"And how did that FEEL Pooh?" The Joker said in a sensual voice.

Harley blushed heavily "Really...Really good Puddin" she said her eyes shining.

"I'm glad to hear it now I think I'm about ready for that curry of yours" The Joker said taking hold of his waist jacket.

Harley stopped him pressing herself against her chest "Wait...we don't HAVE to go I can just heat it up" Harley said pleadingly.

"I'm hungry Harls" The Joker said firmly.

"Well can I at least have a KISS?" Harley said her eyes huge.

The Joker chuckled "How can I say NO to that face" he chuckled and pulled her closely by the waist and kissed her deeply.

"Best day EVER" Harley thought to herself as she smooched The Joker running her hands through his hair.


Chapter 5

Puddin Literally!
The Joker walked towards the Funnibone warehouse wearily he had been through a lot. His car was being repaired to which they would be without it for at least a week, they were low on cash until his next heist and it was HIS ANNIVERSARY with Harley but he couldn't afford a gift coz he was broke.

"Curl? Rocco? Where the hell are you guys?!" he yelled angrily.

Suddenly a few lights turned on and a banner hung from the windows with the words HAPPY 7th ANNIVERSARY in big red letters. A huge pie was set underneath the lights in a large silver dish with a creamy topping and a cherry.

The Joker blinked "Hmm...Pie well she must be hiding somewhere and made this for me" he thought to himself and was about to approach when he was stopped.

"Welcome home Puddin" a voice said from within the pie to which it moved and then Harley's butt appeared from the pie followed by her entire body. Only her face could be seen that was NOT covered in pudding.

"Harley..." The Joker said rather touched by this gesture but he didn't let on. He was impressed by her effort though.

She leaned down and scooped some of the pie topping on her finger "Wanna try some of my pie?" she cooed her eyes twinkling.

"Harley..." The Joker said smiling approaching her slowly.

"I'm sure you'll want seconds" she said smiling flashing her white teeth.

The Joker stood in front of Harley and leaned towards her smiling with his wide grin "Harley did you do this for ME?" he said smiling at her fondly.

"Mm hmm I got some baking lessons from red she helped me sort this all out" she said blushing under the make-up so her cheeks were rosy.

"I see well I must say you look delicious" he said and sucked her finger to which she giggled as his tongue rolled over her fingers. He stopped and smiled "Vanilla...my favourite how did you know?" he said touched.

Harley smiled "I did my research after all I gal has to know about her man to please him" she said and kissed him to which he returned it.

After she pulled away he smirked "I think I'd like to taste you more Pooh...Upstairs" he chuckled his eyes shining wickedly.


The Joker was licking Harley while on the floor of the bedroom "You taste so sweet Harls" he said licking her chest.

"Oh...more Puddin...more...please" she moaned lustfully clutching his head as he licked her body cleaning her of the sweet cream.

"My my aren't we a horny little minx" The Joker chuckled deviously.

After at least an hour her body was no longer covered so much in cream but there were still stains upon her.

"Harley baby you REALLY outdid yourself tonight" he chuckled as red lace lingerie began to appear from under the cream.

"Yeah I had em for ages but was unable to wear em coz I wanted to save em for tonight" she said shyly.

"Harls that's so sweet" he said and then the pair burst out laughing at the pun. They then began kissing heavily to which The Joker wrapped one around Harley's head and pulled her headdress off and threw it to the floor with the other he began to grope Harley's butt.

Later that night

Harley's panties were on the floor and her bra was hanging from the ceiling fan. Her headdress had landed on the chair and was lying on its side.

The Joker's suit was on Harley's mirror and dresser while his shoes were scattered on the floor.

"That was nice Puddin" Harley sighed lovingly. Her face was clean of make-up and her hair was loose and had fallen to her shoulders in golden waves. She was covered up to her chest by the purple sheet and was lying upon The Joker's chest listening to his heart.

"It sure was Pooh that was the best anniversary gift you've ever given me" he chuckled. He was on his back with his arm around Harley's back. His other hand was rested behind his head in a V shape.

"Y'know what J" she said in her Harleen voice. She only used this voice when she was SERIOUS.

"What's that pooh?" The Joker said stroking her golden waves.

"I love you" she said fondly batting her blue eyes lovingly.

The Joker looked touched "Harley..." he said gently.

Harley blushed her cheeks turning a rosy colour she DEEPLY cared for this man.

The Joker smiled "Me too Pooh...Stay exactly the way you are" he said fondly.

Harley smiled "I'll hold you to it" she said and leaned towards him and kissed him lovingly.